The 14 Hour Road Trip From Hell (except for corn and horses!): Cave Temple to Ancient City of Hampi!

 I must confess, the severely torturous day was not without SOME fun/interesting moments, but by and large, it ranks among one of the worst of my travels in India!! 

If I had known in advance what was in store, I would NEVER have agreed to go with this group! In fact, we were told--after we departed from the temple cave-- it would take about  8 hours by car to reach our next destination of Hampi. I already had a taste of the swami's skewed sense of time and distance; namely, that he always GREATLY underestimated both!!! Even so, when it turned out that the estimation of eight hours was SO wildly off--and that the ACTUAL time was nearly DOUBLE what he told us it would be-- I had no choice but to resign myself to this long day of extreme torture!  

Here is the detailed account of what ensued on this "road trip from hell": 

First off, getting this group ready to go anywhere-- or stay within the parameters of an allotted time for ANY function-- was an exercise in absolute futility. The old addage about "herding cats" was absolutely applicable to THIS group of "spiritual tourists"!!! 

Therefore, when we were told the objective was to have packed the car and cleared out from the cave temple by 9 a.m., it was no surprise that we didn't actually leave until an hour and a half later! Thus it was that we didn't hit the road until closer to 10:30. 

Then, we proceeded to make numerous stops, some of which took MADDENINGLY long chunks of time. The first stop was at a small tea stand by the side of the road, after only traveling for 20 minutes or so. Because there was a little temple near by, we had to go to it and visit the deity there, getting blessed by the priest and so forth. The total stop was probably close to an hour. 

Next, we arrived back in the town where I had been picked up from the bus station (after my 2 hour wait of not knowing who was even coming for me!)  We easily spent another hour there, searching for a new driver to take us all the way to Hampi. (The driver they used to get us this far from Karad was going back to whence he had come...he had NO interest in taking us any further.)  Many inquiries and intense negotiations were made before a driver could be procurred. Why all of this could not have been arranged beforehand was a great mystery to me... but, as it turned out, this sort of ordeal was maddeningly typical! Disorganization and lack of meaningful planning was the name of the game. This was a "fly by the seat of our pants" tour! Designed-- maybe purposely?!?!-- to try one's patience to the extreme, to see just WHAT a "spiritual tourist" is genuinely made of!! As it so happened, I found out --in short order-- I don't have the stuff it takes to be a good one!!! 

So, once we had the car and driver, there ensued the enormous task of fitting seven people's luggage on and in the undersized vehicle. Maria's guitar had to sit between someone's legs, and numerous other items also stashed amonst us, as there was limited space on the roof and no luggage compartment inside. Consequently, we were stuffed to the gills inside of that car, and it was truly a MOST uncomfortable arrangement!!! 

Nonetheless, what a relief to be on our way again at last! 

The relief didn't last for long: we encountered horrifically heavy traffic, horrifically dusty roads, had to stop for folks (not me! I of course had my own food) to eat a very late lunch... and thus our progress was horrifically slow. 

But...there WERE a couple moments of hilarity: the first, when we stopped at a roadside stand to buy freshly roasted corn-on-the-cob, which was surprisingly sweet and delicious. We ate the corn as we drove onward, and when finished with mine, I casually tossed the cob out of my passenger window (biodegradable, after all!) Oops! I narrowly missed hitting a passing motorcyclist! And I mean, REALLY narrowly-- the cob whizzed by him within an inch of his face!!! Poor guy!!! Thankfully, he did NOT have an accident... and all of us laughed hysterically over my folly! 

Then, later on, when stopping to refuel at a gas station, we encountered a glittery wedding chariot--drawn by multitudes of plastic horses-- a truly crazy contraption one sees throughout India. (This is traditional for couples, as part of a wedding procession through the city streets.)  We played on this thing and had great fun taking photos. 

But the fun pretty much ended there. We ceased making stops, and the long hours--in cramped positions--in that torturous contraption known as a car made me want to scream and tear my hair out. A debate soon broke out as to whether or not we should, in fact, try to make it all the way to Hampi. The orginal, predicted arrival time was to be around 6 p.m...in time for me to do my evening lessons online. It quickly became glaringly evident that we were not even close to making that goal! It was adjusted to be closer to 8 or 9 pm. At this juncture, I objected loudly, and demanded to be let off along the way, at whatever respectable hotel we might pass. I declared I would find a bus or other means to catch up with them all the following day. 

What is more, there was ANOTHER dispute along the lines of whether or not we were even going the most DIRECT way to our destination... my reaction? "YOU HAVE TO F--KING BE KIDDING ME!!!"

Alas! This, I was told, was absolutely impossible. We were WELL off the beaten path; there were NO hotels to be had; even if there had been, there would be a total lack of transportation to enable me to get to our destination of Hampi on my own. In short, I was stuck in this hellish, over-crowded container, and would just have to handle my pain, grouchiness and extreme exhaustion!!!

I had to cancel ALL of my evening lessons. At one point--perhaps around 10 p.m.-- I declared I would get out and walk, no matter how long it took to get there!! I was serious. I was THAT fed up!!! In fact, we were stuck behind a walking funeral procession... and I truly COULD have walked faster than our car was moving! But my idea was met with violent protests and I was not allowed out of the car! 

We DID, in fact, come to a hotel shortly thereafter. Unfortunately--but of course--there was no vacancy, so I was out of luck as far as a possible stay. Some people bought tea and just stretched... I ran over to the adjacent, empty field and kept running... and ranting...back and forth, back and forth...probably for about 40 minutes. It actually helped! I thought I might just survive the remaining 2 hours or so!

We DID finally arrive in Hampi, right around half-past midnight. I was brain dead. My body was numb in spots;  in horrendous pain in others. I was pissed like I have rarely been in my life...and, believe it or not, it actually got WORSE!! 

Yes, dear reader, not to be believed, right?!!? 

Here is what happened: 

We supposedly had reservations at a guest house/campground (hippy-type--quite prevalent in Hampi). But! When we arrived there, they informed us they were full up, and that somehow there was a miscommunication (or WAS there?!!? In hindsight, I have to wonder whether or not such a reservation had been made at all...) and they had no space for us whatsoever.  Unbelievable!!! On to the next one down the road... yes, they said that they could make it work for us, but would have to sent up tents in one small area, and cram us all next to each other. We grabbed it (paying an exorbitant price for this privilege to camp!) and proceeded to unload our great mound of luggage from the car. 

It seemed to take FOREVER for them to set the tents up, supply them with mattresses, blankets and pillows...and it was by then half past one in the morning. I threw myself and my stuff into the closest tent and prayed to fall asleep immediately. (Remember, I had been up ungodly early that morning, with VERY little sleep the night before at the cave temple site!)  

Ahhh, what a nice thought THAT was! It was not to be, because our two fearless leaders-- Maria and the African Baba Swami-- somehow thought it reasonable to stay up even LONGER, chatting loudly, right next to the tents, with a couple other folks. THIS, friends, is precisely the sort of thing that makes a reasonable person (such as myself) GO POSTAL!!! I wanted to kill them all, yes indeed...  but instead, restrained myself, and simply asked them NICELY to lower their voices, or, better still, go somewhere FAR AWAY if they were determined to stay up all night long!!! 

They finally did pipe down, but I stewed in my tent for quite awhile, and it seemed a VERY long time before I slept... 

Next blog: First full day at Hampi! A mixed bag, indeed... (why are we not surprised?!??!) 

 

The first of the only two highlights of the otherwise most torturous day: getting freshly roasted corn-on-the-cob from a roadside stand along our way. Saglara is sitting there on the other side of the swami. 

Second highlight: the crazy wedding chariot, which we all delighted in sitting inside of and being photographed! Only in India would you encounter such a vehicle at a gas station!!! 

There were actually two, together at the gas station... the swami delighted in them as much as the rest of us, though he has surely seen a fair amount of them throughout his life! 

Yours truly goes for a solo ride!